Well hello there, they call me Mrs. Sasswaters

First meetings are so uncomfortable, right? I mean what’s the protocol? Do you just smile and deliver a standard issue handshake? I never know what to do. Maybe I’m just inherently awkward. Maybe we’re all uncomfortable but no one talks about it so we don’t know that we’re feeling exactly the same way.

We could solve this if all first time meetings began with a drink. You walk in and everyone takes a nip. Hi guys, I’m new here, salud! Wouldn’t that be better?! Booze is a great equalizer! We all make that same face when we do a tequila shot. We all think we have never been smarter and better looking after three beers. I mean, of course there are exceptions. No one wants you to meet your gynecologist for the first time over a fifth of vodka. That’s more of a chardonnay and candle light situation, I think anyway.

But since the good folks here at Stuff Writers Like can’t “officially” support a mandatory drinking policy, I thought I’d just try to verbally buy you a round and introduce myself: My name is Arie Wilson Passwaters. I’m a former journalist with more than a decade of writing, editing and graphic design experience. In my spare time I like to craft (poorly), travel (also poorly) and read (marginally less poorly). I excel at enjoying food that’s bad for me, watching shameful reality television (DANCE MOMS!) and making lists.

Here’s a list of Stuff This Writer Likes.

    1. Seeing two dogs get really excited to see each other as they pass on the sidewalk
    2. Precut and de-seeded watermelon
    3. That tiny surge of confidence you get from having your hair cut and professionally styled
    4. Sounds my baby makes when she wakes up happy – part coo and part giggle
    5. Taste of really, really cold beer on a really, really hot day
    6. Smell of my husband in our sheets when he’s away on business
    7. Out of the blue text conversations from old friends that are not related to working or worrying about what’s for dinner
    8. A good cup of coffee
    9. Artfully constructed, funny tweets that do not violate any grammar rules
    10. Awkward old family photos
    11. Fabric stores
    12. Free makeup, perfume and skincare samples
    13. 80s rock, unapologetic girl anthems, anything by Wham! and folksy/banjo music
    14. Sleeping with the fan on
    15. Random acts of kindness
    16. YouTube videos of idiots hurting themselves
    17. Pugs doing anything ever

 

We are what we read. Here are some of my favorite blogs:

My favorite Tweeps who aren’t famous (yet) but totally should be:

In closing, I leave you with words from one of the greatest love letters written in the last 100 years:

If you like Pina Coladas, getting caught in the rain
If you’re not into yoga, if you have half a brain
If you like making love at midnight in the dunes on the cape
I’m the love that you’ve looked for write to me and escape

Does that do it for you? No? Then how about a fiscally conservative, socially liberal, momma bear and self-proclaimed feminist that ain’t afraid to tell it like it is? Wanna be friends?

Tweet me at @mommapug.

 

September 25, 2014
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